Sunday, November 13, 2016

Thanks Anyway


You know what is a section in the Bible that confuses me a little bit?  It is the part where Jesus tells people about a guy who was proudly thanking God for not being as bad as other people, and then told about a guy who publicly said "Lord have mercy on me, a sinner," or something like that. Then Jesus says that God prefers the humility of the groveling sinner.  I found that verse comforting during my worst depression where I felt so horrible and guilty all the time, but I often want to thank God for all the horrible things that have not happened in my life, and it confuses me a little bit that maybe we aren't supposed to. Like maybe we aren't supposed to thank God for not being one of those bad Isis people or a child abuser or something like that.  I think the idea is that we don't know all the consequences of our every day behavior and the loss of the good we haven't done but could have.  But I am thankful that I have not done worse things than I have, and especially as someone with mental illness and anger problems, I don't take it for granted that there are a lot of crimes I have not committed.  So I have kind of decided that I will go ahead and thank God for all the ways that things could have been worse for me, including the category of my own behavior, and maybe if I thank him too much every time there is a shooting that I didn't do, then I will eventually feel so bad about my pride that I will say more things like "Lord have mercy on me, a sinner."

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