Stages

        I took a theology class a few years ago and there was a question asking what we thought of the concept of phases and stages.  It had to do with whether we believed there were standard or common processes where people went through similar sequences of status and experience during their spiritual development.  And I said something about how concepts of phases were often a good resource of collective wisdom but people need to be able to live their life, too, without having every interaction predicted and seen as generic and labeled.  I didn't say it that well, and I think I missed something more important, which has to do with the progress itself, and the sins along the way that other people try to establish as representative and defining.

     An example that is kind of deep can be seen in the life of Van Gogh, who gave the world an artistic life and works that were accessible to all, enjoyed now by millions, and probably backed supernaturally in a way that people often forget art can be.  People usually look for that kind of supernatural power in religion and ministry, and I think a lot of people trying to do church work feel frustrated if they don't see that kind of spiritual fruit immediately.

   But Van Gogh is a person who had some distinct stages in his life, and there was a time early on that he wanted to be a missionary.  And he did some hard labor and it was said that in that work he earned the nickname "Christ of the Coal mines." Well I don't know exactly what happened, but it just has a certain ring to it like he thought of it himself and was trying to establish a reputation of being some kind of saint. To me, it does come across as a little bit self centered and classically spiritually immature. But even if that is the case, and it might not be, it's still not that bad, and in the long run could serve as a good signature on all his work and proof that there were in fact religious origins for his generous and successful soul. If that hadn't been in his biography as his nickname, some people would be sure to identify him more with things like his suspected case of syphilis.  But anyway, when I hear his story, I am reminded of phases that I have gone through as an evangelical, where I focused too much on other people's salvation at times, or did some of my socializing with ulterior conversion motives, or tried to bring about a forced influence from my life instead of an authentic offering of love and work.  Sometimes people called me on it, but more often, there were mean and false accusations, insults, and rude attempts to make me fail.  Because as much as it was a phase of evangelical Christianity, it was also just a step on a legitimate path to productive spiritual vocation, and I ended up with years of whole-hearted service and good prayer traction with very probable answers from God that have helped millions of people. 

      It's really something to think about, because as much as all humans can be fault-finders sometimes, categories of people do sometimes become known by their mistakes and bad habits, and religious hypocrisy is one of those things that people most don't appreciate.  People like me betray people sometimes, and try to trade in friends for conversion credit.  But by ratio, it is just a phase that we do learn from, and might even help us get to the next level of a more sincere love than would ever happen if we never stumbled in that way.  

    So people can criticize us, and label us with whatever insults they think when they see the pattern of a lot of us making the same mistakes, but the real shame will probably be from the loss of those who never dared to make those mistakes.  I guess they have their own rewards and God's plan for them will be kind as well, with no lapse or shadow of turning, as they say, but it is good to remember that if there are phases on spiritual paths or any path, those awkward stages might pay off with a depth of sainthood that no one would have turned down themselves if they really understood or had the right vision.